http://www.ehow.com/how-does_4743206_cross-dressing-affect-heterosexual-relationship.html
ehow.com
By Lauren Vork
Cross Dressing In Heterosexual Relationships
1. While the term “cross-dressing” is sometimes applied to women in men’s clothing, there is generally very little stigma attached to this behavior in contemporary U.S. society. Instead, the term usually refers to men dressing in any clothing that is considered exclusively feminine, such as dresses, skirts, bras, panties or high-heeled shoes. Though cross-dressing in men is often associated with homosexuality, it is actually a more common practice among heterosexual men. According to Ellen Sherman of “Self-Help Magazine,” an estimated 1 percent of the straight male population engages in this behavior privately. Though this behavior often makes loved ones, particularly romantic partners, uncomfortable, the American Psychiatric Association does not recognize cross dressing as a disorder. Cross dressers cite many reasons for enjoyment of the activity, including sexual enhancement and a feeling of relaxation (Dr. Ellen Sherman, “The Real Truth About Crossdressing,” see Resources).
Misconceptions and Discomfort
2. One of the chief problems that cross-dressing can cause for a heterosexual relationship is a fear on the part of the woman based on a misconception of what the behavior signifies. Many women will worry that their boyfriends or husbands are really gay or transgender. They may have a difficult time being reassured on these points. Other problems for women in relationships with cross-dressers can include a culturally ingrained discomfort with the blurring of gender roles and a diminishing of attraction to her partner once she knows he enjoys playing the role of a female. It is common for women in this situation to feel that their partners can and should go to therapy to have the problem “cured.” (Anne Vitale, Ph. D. “Couple’s Therapy When The Male Partner Crossdresses,” see Resources).
Insecurity
3. Men who are particularly insecure about their cross-dressing pastime can become defensive and even aggressive if their female partners discover the truth. Such a man may feel an overwhelming need to express his masculinity through misogynistic and homophobic means, which can put a major strain on the relationship with his female partner and others (Anne Vitale).
Secrecy and Infidelity
4. For men who feel they must keep their cross-dressing desires a secret from their partners, but still wish to openly bring cross-dressing into sexual activities with another, infidelity can become a problem. This can create added feelings of betrayal if and when the main partner discovers the full truth.
Acceptance
5. As education and acceptance of cross dressing (and other non-standard sexual behaviors) becomes more widespread, more heterosexual couples are successfully and happily living openly with the knowledge of a cross-dressing male partner. Though the help of a supportive therapist is sometimes required, more men are able to work to dismiss feelings of shame, unworthiness and the worry that there is just something “wrong” with them. Meanwhile, a woman can learn to accept that her male partner’s cross-dressing is not a sign that he is less interested in her sexually or interested in changing his sexual identity. A woman can even express a sense of fun and enjoyment associated with her partner’s habits, as well as pleasure that he is able to fully trust her and be himself (Anne Vitale).
